On Friday night, Directors' Summit was happening. Even tho we aren't going on a trip or training drama or RD'ing this year, we did want to get to see so many of the people that we cherish and don't get to see often. AND to partake in worship with those that love the Lord so much.
Worship was rough... I pressed in and at first thought, "this is it!"... then it fizzled and I couldn't find God. I was crushed. And then someone I have always thought of "having it all together" got up and gave the introduction, admitting that a year ago when she was in that place, she was facing a trial of faith, doubting everything she had believed for so long. How being in that place started to heal her.
SHE TOLD MY STORY!! I had, after several weeks of pure doubt and frustration, made a decision to follow, to believe, to pull out of the gutter... but I still wasn't FEELING it... and here she was, here GE was, telling me that "hey, it happens... life has a way of trying to beat us down, tear at the very fiber of our faith... we're here to help. Not to condemn, or to say 'wow, I can't believe you are in that place'"
THEN...Dave Hasz gets up and gives a message on faith. WOW... I won't go into it now, but it was amazing... as only Dave can do. Nothing we do for God is useless, and nothing we go thru goes to waste. It is all for the glory of God and the good of others...
THEN... there was an altar call... you can bet I was the first out of my seat... in that moment, I knew God had orchestrated that evening for ME... and each person that prayed over me spoke the balm of healing, the grace of the Lord over me.
It was a beautiful night. and guess what? Life still happens. But when I look for Him, God is still there, too... the cool thing is, He's there, even when I'm NOT looking. But it's so much easier when I am.
16 So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.
But what a difficult task it is!
17 Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, (having a "God moment")
and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked. (a moment of clarity)
18 Truly, you put them on a slippery path
and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction.
19 In an instant they are destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors.
20 When you arise, O Lord,
you will laugh at their silly ideas
as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.
21 Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
and I was all torn up inside.
22 I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23 Yet I still belong to you; (!!Praise Him! He never lets go, even when we do!!)
you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.
WOW... He still speaks. How could I ever forget? How could I not see? When did I stop hearing? Thank you, Lord, for never giving up on me. Forgive my doubt, my lack of faith... heal me and bring me to a new place with you. Use my story to help others find a way back to You...
1 comment:
This is so good...I am there with you! What chapter of Psalm is the verse you have written here? Need to have that page open in my Bible. Praying for you now...
Sending love!
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